Yes, you may have noticed (most will not have, as I think I have somewhere between 3 to 6 readers) I have not blogged in an entire month. Thats four practices, Crapaud, and the Newcomers Tourney that I have not shared my thoughts on. Week by week I go from feeling good about my progress, to feeling like I should be spending time doing other things. Mostly because I want to be at a certain level of training, and I just don't have the time to spend to be where I want to be. For as much fun as I have fighting, I'm honestly not sure that I have the meddle to bring my "A Game" when the cards are on the table. There is a mental block that I just can't get around right now, and no amount of advice or teaching from people is going to help. I have to figure this out on my own.
Now, to change gears a bit (for the first time I think, on this blog), life as a stay at home dad is... starting to get to me I think. I love my son more than anything, but I really want to be working. I really, really need to find a job. We are getting in to a very important point in his life, where he is learning how to be the man he will become, and I don't want him learning that daddy is a consistently frustrated man. There are options to change our situation, and they lay before us, waiting for us to choose one of them. This may be one of those "grass is always greener" choices too, but we just don't know till we make a decision.
I don't think we have the money, time, or sanity for me to do anything constructive with school...
This is becoming a vent session, I'm going to go have another beer...
