Since I have been on facebook, I have not done any blogging. I think that facebook satisfies my temporary need to announce my momentary feelings. Good and bad I guess. I think I really need to write something full length though, to clear my head, to more clearly see what I am thinking, to more truly identify what I am feeling.
I am joining the Army National Guard. It's something I really need to do. My life situation, combined with the current economy, puts me in a position where I can really justify that I am not doing it for selfish reasons. But as an underlying reason, I really need to do this for me. Yes, I am getting job training in a position that will help me with a civillian career in the long run. Yes, I am getting my tuition paid for, and will be getting paid to go to school (on top of monthly drill pay). Yes, I am getting enough bonus money that will allow us to put down a sizable downpayment to buy a house next year. Yes, this is also part of some greater, self serving, "man quest" thing (a term I recently came up with).
Wednesday I took the ASVAB in the evening, stayed at a hotel that night, got up at 4am to get on a bus with other applicants to process at MEPS. After taking longer that it was supposed to, I didn't get to finish processing and had to head home. The next day I had to register my car, then head to a health clinic so I could get screened for a seasonal county job. Yeah, it was a busy couple of days.
Now I have two days off before I start a seasonal county job (I also have to finish processing next week at MEPS). After two months of working, maybe a little more, I will ship to boot camp. Fortunately I will have the hollidays off before going to my training school for my ARNG job. So, yeah, this two days is the calm. The next 6+ months is the storm. Maybe longer, as I am hoping to roll right in to the seasonal job after I get back from training next year.
So, now I sit here thinking about my "man quest" that has lasted for some years. I don't know if what I originally saw as the quest is actually the quest (hunting, YOSE bear team, SCA fighting, fire academy, fighting forest fires etc.), or if that is just on the surface of the real quest (being a husband, father, son, brother, friend, homeowner etc.).
The first few hours of MEPS made me nervous, but then, I was surrounded by nervous 18-19 year olds. I really became comfortable with the structure of it all, and I was really able to relax. Once I got though medical (which took a lot longer than it was supposed to), the rest of the day was simple. I know, its not a good sample of what I will see in boot camp, but I am really looking forward to it. It will be a challenge on many levels. Will I be able to rise to the challenge as a man, physically? Will I be able to make my wife and son proud by making it to the finish line with honor? Will I be able to stand tall when I come home for Christmas?
Yes, I believe I will. I will succeed in my journey of self discovery.
1 comment:
As much as I hated boot, there was no greater feeling than the pride of graduating from such an alien world. I know you will do fine and I know you will make your family proud! Make sure I get your address in there. The letters I received made a huge impact on my ability to work through that **edited by CIA** "wonderful place."
Post a Comment