The Journey

This is not in reference to the move.

I have been thinking a lot about my personal journey through the SCA over the past year. Where I began, what my goals were, and why I have a desire to fight. I can only imagine that the journey begins the same for most people. A desire to be a skilled fighter, win tournaments, known as a force to be reckoned with. There was a motivation to be the best. To hang with the big dogs.

Several things changed my motivation, my reason for being armored on the field. The more I played over the past year, the more I came to realize that I was beginning to discover the virtues of chivalry. With having a son, and wanting to be an example that he can learn from, a lot of my mundane values changed as well. Not changed really, I guess you could say I prioritized my values and motivations. Prowess is something that can be achieved by the vast majority of people. Especially in a game filled with weekend warriors. I saw a newer fighter (less than a year in armor) win a coronet. Now, I don't know him personally, but I can only assume that it was because he fought all the time, and trained as much as he could. That kind of makes it a no brainer.

There's more than that though. If I wanted to be a part of a sport just to win, I could have picked something more suited to those goals. Team sports, with obvious point scoring methods. But that isn't why I have always been drawn to "sword fighting" honestly. I like learning about history, and the more I research, the more I want to know. Especially when it comes to studying and contemplating things like chivalric virtues (and seeing them before they were called "chivalric virtues"). So now I am drawn in to a further subculture of geekness by applying the concept of these virtues to every day life.

The most fun I have had has been at informal gatherings of fighters. When we get together as friends with similar interest in history, and beat each other with sticks. Inside the SCA is a sporting ruleset that is specific to the SCA, which in all honesty doesn't seem to be a direct simulation of the actual combat that existed in history. I mean, we try, we have fun, and that is all that matters really. But things like studying history, and making reproductions of actual archaeological finds, or applying the varoius warrior codes to every day life... these are things that exist outside the game.

I guess what I am getting at, is that while I want to take part in the SCA world, I recognize that really where my interest lies is in things that are autonomous from that group. And really, my goals are not so much being a skilled SCA fighter, but experiencing the reality of mideval concepts and culture. I can learn prowess anywhere, I just have to take the time to do it. I am no longer interested in a static goal. Rather, I began a journey of self discovery within the concept of meieval society. I realize now that my goal is not "be more skilled at fighting than the next guy," its more "become a better man while sharing that journey with those around me."

Physically, there are many things I want to try. Different fighting styles, new games, living history groups, modern crazy ass sports, historical hunting trips, and the list goes on. All I really have to do for all that is to get in shape for it.

Traveling the path of virtue will always be in my heart, no matter where I go or what I do.

Moving Randomness

The house is getting packed and cleaned, little by little. Its nice having extra time to get this stuff done, and not have pressure. But I am ready to be out of here (the house anyway). There is so much stuff we are getting rid of, either by way of garage sale, or just by throwing it out. A decent amount of stuff is also being given to friends, books, bookshelves, the refrigerator etc. I find it very cleansing to do this. Throwing away stuff is good for my soul, I don't care for boxes of old memories sitting around, taking up space. Don't get me wrong, I like revising old memories, I just don't like moving them all over the country.

From the sound of things, the wife and kid are getting acclimated to the new life. It's cool to hear that my son is all about playing with the other kids, and that my wife is getting to spend a little time with friends and family. We spent quite a bit of time on the left coast, away from all that. Its kind of like... her turn now, and I'm happy with that.

Now if only I could get more than a few hours of sleep every night, that would make the 3+ day drive a bit easier...

What am I Missing...

It's almost been two full days since the wife and boy took the one way plane ride to the Midwest. Since then, I have been occupying myself with various tasks around the house, and telling myself that it is nice to have a bit of time to relax. Well, more than telling myself... I am trying to convince myself that the quiet is nice... It was nice when I got an extra hour of sleep, but after that, I started to miss them. Now, the things I am doing around here to divert my attention keep me from just throwing some boxes in the back of the truck and making the drive...

I really want to spend a little time here, remembering why I like it on this side of the world. I want to spend time with the friends and family I have, before I move to a place that will only allow me to see them once a year (twice if I'm lucky). I really want to make sure that I can get as many people to write in my son's book as possible. I really miss being around them... already.

I have so much to get done. Yet this whole transition has been bitter-sweet, and I am having a hard time making these last few steps on my own. If I think about it too much, I'm going to turn in to an emotional cluster fuck.

I think Saturday might just be my last day in armor out here, and I might only last a few more days after that. Once I find a trailer to pull behind the truck, I'm gonna fill it up and go. I could stay until the end of the month, that is when I've been telling everyone that I'm leaving, but I have a feeling that it is just going to get that much more difficult as the days go on.

More than anything, I just want to be with my family. That is what is most important right now.


(The pic is from Monday, for those of you who have not seen pics of us recently.)

The Project

So, we are moving. Not the original direction we figured we would either, we are moving back to the Midwest. The state of things being what they are, we just cannot live in CA. We are surviving, but we are not living. When it comes down to it, we realized that there are only 2 places we can live right now, near my family or near her family. So, with a job transfer we will have a good base of income to live easier. And most importantly, the idea of buying a house seems more like a reality.

What is the deal with this "project" then? Well, I found a really cool book at the store yesterday, "The Dangerous Book for Boys." If you have not seen it, find it. Thumb through it, and you will see why I love it. I love it for myself, but I bought it for my son. It is filled with a lot of really cool information, and skills that I associate with days past. Classic skills, and projects, and inspiring stories etc.

The project I came up with, shortly after buying the book, is to have all my friends write advice to him in this book. As I feel a loss that there are certain people out here that he will not get the chance to grow around, as the very least they can leave him a few words of advice to help him as he grows up. The boys get to write in the book (as it is a boys book), the girls have to write him notes (just like I got in school growing up). So, I want to open this up to as many people as I can. Also, I need to start this blog again to keep everyone up on how things are going.

So there it is. If you have a note to write, in advice, please leave it as a comment, or email it to me if you want. I will post updates as the next few weeks pass, and we get ready to make the move.

cheers

The "Dangerous Book" project

Stay tuned...